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Growing old ungracefully


I know I'm growing old
I can feel it
In the length of my stride and in my hair
No, that's not it
They're fine
It's everywhere.

It's the way I think
And the look on my face
It's the sadness in my heart
It's all in my head
My friends will say
But still, it's really there.

I don't know how to fight it
Perhaps I shouldn't try
To grow old gracefully is a good thing
And to be remembered well when you die.

I don't know how to accept it
To say, "It's just a thing,
That IS, there is no avoiding it
So suck it up & start enjoying it."
I can't & I don't know why.

My mom is getting happier
And cooler every day
I'm sure if you really ask me,
I think I'll be that way

But I don't know why all of a sudden
It's catching up with me.

I'm not the same anymore
It's in my face
But my face is not the problem
Cuz it changes when I feel young
And I lose 5 years in a day.

- December 17, 2001

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